Sorry I only just saw this. Yeah the arrogance vs confidence thing is something I've been preaching since I learned the hard way when I was about 14. You'll find that same point made in my posts all over this forum. Let me paint my picture of confidence vs arrogance with a series of juxtapositions, mostly just off the top of my head.
Confident:
I have faith that my skills, knowledge and ability in a given domain are valuable and reliable. However, I do not claim to have mastered anything, and I am genuinely open to dialogue that may challenge what I believe to be a strength of mine.
Arrogant:
I have faith that my skills, knowledge and ability in a particular area are valuable and reliable. There is no need for me to engage in dialogue about my strengths, because I know them to be sound.
Confident:
I deserve elevated respect from someone only once they have seen a successful demonstration of my value.
Arrogant:
I deserve elevated respect from someone as a result of my reputation.
Confident:
I will admit that I don't know something.
Arrogant:
I will rarely admit that I don't know something.
Confident:
If someone believes I have made a mistake, my first assumption is 'maybe'. If upon investigation it turns out that I have, then I have no trouble admitting it and apologising if necessary.
Arrogant:
If someone believes I have made a mistake, my first assumption is 'they're probably wrong', or 'there was a mistake, but it was not my fault'. I will often shift the blame for my mistakes onto someone or something else, rationalising them not only to others, but also to myself. I rarely apologise.
Confident:
I have my own plans, but I respect the importance of other perspectives, so will regularly seek second or third opinions on my decisions.
Arrogant:
I have my own plans, and there's not much point in getting others' opinions because I know best. If the decision turns out to be a bad one, it will most likely be because of someone or something outside of my control.
Confident:
I have no problem making a fool out of myself, it will not damage my reputation in the eyes of others so long as they understand who I really am. And if they don't, then time will help.
Arrogant:
I do not make a fool out of myself, and I hate it when people make fun of me. Every moment counts in creating a perception of myself, the facade must not drop.
Confident:
I am prepared to show moments of weakness or fatigue, as they are part of the human condition.
Arrogant:
I project an image of being constantly okay, no matter what. The only exception is when I'm angry at someone else for having messed something up.
Confident:
I will share my strengths when called upon, or when it's appropriate. Otherwise I will just use them, and over time people will learn they're there.
Arrogant:
I will brag about my strengths as and when I wish. I won't wait until people have seen them before expecting people to believe in me.
Confident:
I am not above or below anyone else, we simply have different contributions to make to the world.
Arrogant:
I contribute, or can contribute, more than others, therefore I am superior to them.
Confident:
I am humble, grateful, courteous and respectful.
Arrogant:
I am self-righteous, entitled, often rude and disregard most people.