Application - biozcalhoun

[JuaN.]

I will give my vote as former vu member, i vote rookie good luck 

[EvilSpiriT]

No, until you come up clean.

[hotdogcat]

Trainee

[DiaZ]

I am going with a no. I have told you the reason in our chat. You need to regain my trust towards you

[Trex]

I am going with a no

[Thomas]

I'm neutral at the moment, let me further review your history and that may change my reviews about you.
I don't know you that much, might take some time between you and me.

[SilenTKilleR]

Good Luck,you must take shower now plz

[Vedder]

I see the reasons behind the negative votes and i completely understand them. I would vote the same, to be honest haha.

I'm neutral at the moment, let me further review your history and that may change my reviews about you.
I don't know you that much, might take some time between you and me.

My history is, without doubt, probably the worst thing that i have hhhhh. I would also like to know you quite more. Will catch you on LW.

As to end, thanks to all those who believe me and have voted positively. Really unexpected.


Edit: Another thing to clear is that i was going to apply in October/September, because it's too early and certainly trust can't be gained with just words. Only the time itself is able to prove it. I thought that it would be more convenient to apply now and, as the application says, get a general idea of the members regarding me and work for my application in the next month.

I commited a mistake, but i feel that this is the correct answer, and the correct choice this time: i believe VU is the family that will make me better, a family where my friends are and won't dissapoint them again. As i said, words are not enough, just the time will prove it, soon or later.
By the way, i'd like to offer an apology for looking like a stupid, non-loyal clan hopper. My mood swings and complete indecision didn't help and i didn't choose correctly, i didn't make beforehand a detailed review to join a clan and i should have had a deeper awareness of what decision to take, and it was completely bad, inmature and a big mistake from my side. It's the truth, things didn't go like the expected and it's my entire fault for not taking the correct decision on a start. I know that i have commited this mistake as i stated above, and i know that you've lost trustability on me since that; but as i said i believe i'm taking the right decision now by choosing VU again. Norman, Siezer, Sk, JoooOoO, Almo, Tobi0 - i've got friends here, and i did bad by leaving them. Absolutely my fault and i recognize it; I'm asking for one only more chance to prove that i'm worth to wear this tag and to be part of this family again. And in case of getting denied, i'll only stick with trying to join here again because all what i said is real.

[Norman4354]

Without a doubt, trainee. One of the best candidate for VU trainee rank
Good luck!!!

[Radon]

Best of luck, mate! 

[Thomas]

I see the reasons behind the negative votes and i completely understand them. I would vote the same, to be honest haha.
My history is, without doubt, probably the worst thing that i have hhhhh. I would also like to know you quite more. Will catch you on LW.

As to end, thanks to all those who believe me and have voted positively. Really unexpected.

Trainee

Edit: i did some research too.

[DronZ]

I don't know you, so neutral atm.

[Vedder]

I don't know you, so neutral atm.

I'll try to catch you in-game and talk a little.

If i have to define myself as honestly as possible, thing that i haven't done in my past application nor now, i'm a guy with a strong personality. I always work alone - i don't like teaming, but if i have to do it, i'm able to. I'm quite emotional sometimes, and specially within these games which are part of my life. I'm also always wanting to have leadership and decisive roles (a fact discovered as well by Charley, and probably one of the reasons of my departure as well). And finally one of my most important characteristics is that i can abuse the shit out of a person sometimes (thing that i've been controlling and i don't do anymore at all) but i can't hate anybody. At the end, i'm considered by the people of my city as a smart guy, but i don't consider myself like that.

I've also wrote beforehand an application, expected to be throwed in at October. There are some important facts/questions that i've replied here.

Now returning to, by my vision, the important facts and questions:

• What has changed.   
• Why did i choose VU after having left it.
• If you left VU for "feeling like a ghost", what makes you believe that you will have a better feel now?

Replying to the first question; when i joined VU to be honest i wasn't ready at all - my raging issues started to appear again, and wearing the VU tag during these moments was really bad.I believe after playing in OSK a little and clanless
these days this issue has been solved, as i don't rage anymore when the people kills me; instead of, i keep fighting trying to kill them more times than they kill me, but all just for fun. Also, there were as well some stupid religion abusements from my side to even people of this clan, and i feel like this was the worst thing that i could've ever done. I've learnt that laughing at somebody for its ethnicity, religion or territory is completely sickly and a thing that must not be done. And to be honest, i did it sometimes to apparent "cool" what i consider now as retardness.
That said, i'd like to use this topic as a way to say sorry for this, and even considering that these kind of insults were done when i raged too much in-game, is still pathetic and a retard and cruel way to defend myself. And, at last, what has changed as well are my "mood swings" which i don't know if existed because of my age or something, but i think that i've established a way to be myself and that i've found a solution to this problem, which was one of the causes of my departure. I've been with a good mood during these months and i'm sure that i'm able to keep it up (and i'm also sure that even with a bad one, won't be enough to make such a decision as the one that i made when i left).
Probably it's been a pretty short period to improve all these things, certainly it isn't enough time to become a nice guy. It takes years. And of course i can say that i'm not perfect, nobody is, my improvement hasn't been 100% done yet, but i believe that i have improved considerably and i'm ready to be here. VU takes good players and help them to be even better, and i hope and believe that VU will be that teacher that i've been always needing.

For the second question: Some time ago, after being kicked, i didn't know what to do until i asked for the opinions of some guys. Talking with a lot of friends, i reached to the conclusion that there are and have always been two sides on VC-MP. At one side, was the "dark" part of VC-MP: racist guys, who don't care about religion of the people, make constant abuse of other players and are completely arrogant; and one of the families from the other side is VU; which as from my point of view has been always humble, helpful towards the community and also VU is the alternative to blind arrogance in VC:MP. For a while, i felt like being part of that "dark side" and i realized that i had lost the way and this kind of people is the kind of people that i don't want to be part of. I've been trying to change and to be like that humble Lit.Killah who applied some months ago; i've made a choice and i want to commit myself on helping this community, be part of this great family and based on unity, friendship and good winds & acts make this community better than it is. I'm gonna be more involved and focused with that objective this time, and i know that this is, as i said above, the right way and decision.

And the last question. I think i misunderstood or didn't get the concept of what VU is at all. Ferrari32 helped me to discover this issue, and after this time i think i've finally got it. Also, i can say that i wasn't committed at anything the last time, i was just a guy giving votes on the applications and wearing the trainee tag. I lacked of enthusiasm, determination and ambition. This time i believe i can do better my role here, and i can aspire for having the feel that i didn't have on my past join and i'm focused on doing my best if i get this new opportunity. I wanna be part of the great history of VC:MP and VU and help this community to survive as much as i can. Another thing that i can't skip is the fact of one of my personality's characteristics: desires of leadership role. While myself and Cutton have found such characteristic on me, and probably that's what i meant with: "feeling like a ghost", because i didn't have such an important role in VU and yes i had it on OSK (as stated above for example, i was taken as the EAD League's OSK team leader) i still want to join you guys. I believe that even if my role in VU isn't trascendental during the first steps, and even reaching VU Full Membership it will not be, this is a family, we all are one and i want to be here with my friends, and i'll take a quote from John Quincy Adams, one of the USA past presidents and one of Brian Tracy, a guy who i admire too much.

If your actions encourage others to dream more, learn more, make more and become in something better, then you're a leader.

"Become in the kind of leader who people would follow naturally, even if you don't have the title or the position itself”.

That's what i want to be in VU, my desire. I want to be helped by better people than me to improve, but i'd also like to help others with my actions, even being no more than a common member, i want my actions to be helpful this time.

That said, i'm gonna hear your opinions and accept any kind of critic and reply any answers that you want to do. And a last thing to add, i know that i don't deserve a second chance but i will do all the possible to get it and prove that i won't waste it this time. So far, all what i've wrote here are just words, however, they all can be proved with my behaviour and with good acts.


TL;DR

1)- I left VU for many reasons, including "feeling like a ghost", and i didn't feel important into the most important ones.
2)- After leaving VU i had a bad behaviour to 2 or 3 guys of this clan, with insults from both sides, but i managed and wanted to end those flame wars and start building again a good relationship with VU.
3)- I choose VU because after leaving i thought that it was a bad decision, not because of the respect that you earn with a clan because i don't give a shit about that; but because of that i realized almost everyone here liked me, and wanted to be with me. A lot of people left me good messages on my departure topic and later in-game, which made me feel so loved and think that the decision was wrong.
4)- I got kicked for OSK because i made a "revolution" where i had a fight with the clan leader, separated the clan in two sides (my defenders & leader's side) and in a 5-minutes decision, i got banned from the forum and kicked. (It is explained in detail above).
5)- I believe that not getting the real concept of VU was a big problem but i've got it after re-reading the ethos carefully. Also, i want to be here with my friends and to reach that objective that i wanted to reach when i joined in first instance, but i wasn't commited to. Now i feel i am.
6)- Regarding to loyalty topic, which is behind the loop, i accept and recognize that i was an idiot for not making a deeper review of the clans that i joined before doing so. And i believe that this time, after thinking these days and having a lot of options, i've chosen correctly. If my loyalty is behind doubts; it will be proved with the time. No other way. (That means, deny = reapply in two months). I'll only stick with trying to rejoin VU.

[Trex]

I'm going to change my vote because I trust you, Trainee.

[WiLsOn]

Trainee.