Thank you Charley, there's a little more of hope in my mind after I see your reply Xd
I believe we are more judged in this game without taking account our age because everything remains written, always available to be brought up, and we don't look on the age of a guy at a first thought because it's natural and psychologically comprehensible that, if you are an adult and see kids like me through a computer, your brain will associate me as an adult. Because I am basically a forum profile, you cannot see a photo of mine to put yourself in context to how stupid this kid might look like and therefore understand why he's so idiot. Just a thought?
I am 19 now. I see in the past what I used to write in those eras and HOLY FUCK, i want to fucking cut ma eyes. But nobody judges me in real life because they understood, by sharing moments and knowing my real self, that I was simply a kid. It is not a justification, I just say what I guess is my perception.
There are some things that remain unclear till now so I guess it doesn't come bad to clarify them. Again, regardless whether you believe me or not.
At that time I was just seeking some attention and trying to be a smartass, I lacked affirmation yeah, and actually found some shitty 'rolemodels' as Charley calls them in this community and looked at them, thought they were cool so started to copy what they did, spitting shit at VU, for example.
I guess I also have to explain my side to what happened with Leder and Sugar. I will simply say that my intention was never to damage any of both, I had fucked up before and a friend of mine was going to be kicked due to that, and we cooperatively coordinated that strategy to save his ass. It only took a few minutes before I regreted because this was fucking sick, I was sorry for KingCaco being kicked but I did not want to cause that harm to Sugar after he struggled so much to get in here. Obviously I faced the consequences - it was something that got out of my hands and I did not know how to act. This was the first time that I realized that I could be a good person. Because I did something really bad and I regreted it so much.
I never accessed to VU private boards either. In fact, I had KingCaco's account not because I stole it. He gave it to me voluntarily to help him register.
But the only time I logged in with his account was after his kick, to post some threateny shit which Charley could obviously see by posts edits history xd.
I never even accessed to write his app, I helped him from outside. He posted it himself.
Anyways, at any rate, I appreciate so much your confidence on me Charley, and while I cannot get the same from the rest, I don't think it's actually a bad thing. I want to be in VU, I think it's a good place with good people where I can help people and self-develop a lot. But if you guys need some more time to trust me and my authenticity, I will be glad to show everybody how much I have learnt from all my experiences in this hate-love path that life puts us through.
And yeah, in case of fucky up ban my ass please
Thank you guys once again!!!