Vice Underdogs
Vice Underdogs Clan => General Chat => Farewell Board => Topic started by: GangstaRas on December 24, 2019, 03:59:05 am
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Well, its been a long ride, but after 10 years going into my 11th, I think its finally my turn. The candle is about burnt out.
Typing this, I still remember the first time I ever found VC:MP.
Joined in XE with like 3 FPS in my army skin in 2008, till I got a PC that could run the game in 2009, starting the true VC:MP journey. Joining Vice Underdogs, playing out the Vice Wars, watching VC:MP evolve from 0.3z to 0.3 r2 to 0.4, participating in clan events, making the forum banner you see today, remodeling the theme of the WAP version to this forum, managing and administrating some servers, directing Vice Wars themselves since VW5, documenting and researching some facts for VC:MP forums, all the way to creating custom models, for truly custom maps and vehicles, all your own and providing all the tools and the help needed to make it possible. I've done a lot, done a whole lot.
Still apart of VU, the one and only clan I've ever been in for all those years, that's not gonna change. I'm admin to only 2 servers now, CTF and EAD, not resigning from either, I'll be passing through, but server events and my influence in them, that is coming to an end I'm afraid. So to everyone, enjoy this edition of Vice War in particular, it's gonna be the last one directed by me. Time for me to truly rest, and I'll be resting when the new decade starts.
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Am I missing something here? Retiring from what, exactly?
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We'll miss you Captain!
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We'll miss you Captain!
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good luck
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Am I missing something here? Retiring from what, exactly?
The last 3 membergroups on my account is an example. Within the community I've been called to do a lot of directing of new server projects, gamemode ideas, make/edit maps, make GUI design, make artwork, even web design ideas etc. I'm retiring from all of that. I only have one thing left for an old friend that I promised I'd help with from months back, that is gonna be one of my last VC:MP works.
For CTF and EAD, especially EAD, more an advisory role now. Helping out old friends but not actively responsible for making stuff. When I pass through VC:MP every once in a while, I'll be enjoying whatever you guys make now.
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wait you took this decision because yesterday I just release some comments against your work? I mean I just throw some words against the map of vicewar even krystanoo also put the same point that what I said. you also replied their a line "Members of staff shouldn't be complaining in all fairness(With a fake smile). this happening cause of this issue or which thing make your mind to do this?
I'm really sorry if you took my words too much deeply ofc, I am nothing and how I can make a question on your work. but that was just a suggestion about map. if that was the reason so please I apologize for that. you are good with your work. every year we enjoyed a lot the VC:MP events cause of you guys. I just want to say work on it and keep bright the VU name.
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wait you took this decision because yesterday I just release some comments against your work? I mean I just throw some words against the map of vicewar even krystanoo also put the same point that what I said. you also replied their a line "Members of staff shouldn't be complaining in all fairness(With a fake smile). this happening cause of this issue or which thing make your mind to do this?
I'm really sorry if you took my words too much deeply ofc, I am nothing and how I can make a question on your work. but that was just a suggestion about map. if that was the reason so please I apologize for that. you are good with your work. every year we enjoyed a lot the VC:MP events cause of you guys. I just want to say work on it and keep bright the VU name.
No no no, nothing of the sort, that's playful. I'm just legit tired either way, plus life is catching up to me. Most of my work is done in the summer break for example, I won't have that luxury anymore as I'll be completely absent every summer now for the next 4 or so years, leaving my only break to be the 3 weeks I get in Christmas, cant do much out of that at all.
Vice War 8's development was its own mental stress though, by far the worst stress I've ever gone through organizing an event sake of scripting first, then features second. Not everytime availability lines up, not everytime people see the vision or deem whats important to you important to them, not everytime people do their work properly and you have to go over it, and everytime a bug will present itself where for some you have to chase devs in order to fix...so ensuring the stability and safety of it all takes a huge toll that I'm not willing to go through once more.
My comment though does have frustration at its root. There are a lot of times I test bugs alone cuz nobody else will, and whilst I may have a staff of 30 people, 80% of the time if I don't do something personally, it never gets done, so I end up doing a lot more work than I should, all for the sake of seeing the project through. That takes its toll.
The beta yesterday for example, I had really wanted to finish something simple as tuning the vehicles handling to present how better it is to drive on the map, but no vehicle changes were pushed cuz I couldn't manage. I had already found the settings to tune, and the values needed, just need to be placed in an XML, anyone can write that up but alas it boils down to me. The bases looking empty like no cover, that is not my wish, I simply cannot manage. You give the work to someone else and you have a deadline, nothing happens, so you forced to take it up yourself. You ask for skins and say they're never found or dealt with, so the options of having more than one skin doesnt come cuz its too much for me to go look for that....etc etc...That leads to an unpolished product overall, too dependent on one or a few persons. Thats what development role looks like.
So the community sees a final product, an end result, but dont see the stress it put you through to even get to wherever it ends. Every server in VC:MP that depends on a team goes through this, Vice War aint special. It burns us all out and my time has come.
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You're heart of VU. I didn't know that banner of 'Vice Underdogs' in forum was made by you, I literally used to stare at beauty of it. You've done alot for this community. Hats off mate! Working of this vice war, help in growing VU at its best can't go unforgettable.
Hard to hear you retiring. Good luck with your life man, cheers!
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I wish a good luck in your life. I think most of us Gangs will follow you after a while because of our lives. Nothing remains in its shape in life.
You were one of the best and one of the most kind people in my heart brother. We'll all miss you and the good moments in VCMP. GOOD LUCK ;)
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Thank you Ras for all you have done to this community. It's time to take a break and look for some newer real life challenges.
You'll never be forgotten. Good luck brother
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Thank you Ras for all you have done to this community. It's time to take a break and look for some newer real life challenges.
You'll never be forgotten. Good luck brother
Thanks You Ras, Goodluck for the future.
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Demoted to rookie. Make new server for full
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You could remain there and supervise others. Anyways you are a great mentor. Good Luck 😊
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A well deserved rest. Good luck and thanks for contribute your knowledge and hard work to this game.
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You know man, I told you you deserve rest but I doubt that you can stay away haha, wishing you luck for whatever you plan to do next.
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Bro I need some GUI for GTB. :-X Pls
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You have alot for this community and nothing will be forgotten, good luck bro
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done** can't edit first post :P
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good luck
I can feel VCMP dying for the next few years after your resignation, it is pretty sad but you deserve it, it is indeed the rest of a legend.
when I was in need of support, you were the only one who stood up for me, the only one who rationally dealt with my case and the only one among many, who willingly helped and confessed the truth. thanks dear friend :) I owe you a heap of gratitude.
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good luck
I can feel VCMP dying for the next few years after your resignation, it is pretty sad but you deserve it, it is indeed the rest of a legend.
when I was in need of support, you were the only one who stood up for me, the only one who rationally dealt with my case and the only one among many, who willingly helped and confessed the truth. thanks dear friend :) I owe you a heap of gratitude.
and if you happen to disagree, then fuck yourself
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Every server in VC:MP that depends on a team goes through this, Vice War aint special. It burns us all out and my time has come.
Yes, indeed. Been there dude, a bunch of times. Burnout is a tough one.
It'd be nice to have a long chat about this sometime, but I know that the likelihood of that happening is tiny, so let me voice a few of my thoughts here instead.
What you said about taking on a shitload of projects, only being able to rely on yourself for their true success, and people only seeing the end product without understanding the process that got it there resonates with me completely. I found myself to be in identical situations time and time again during my heydays here in VC:MP.
Here's the thing. What you're talking about isn't confined to this community and the way it works. It is how the world works, and it is how you work. Nobody made you take on all those projects, you chose to do it yourself. So, too, will you start taking on more and more projects in real life, perhaps starting huge ventures of your own, because that's just the kind of person you are. And they will take you through the exact same process, where you feel as though you're the only one who can truly do the work well, who can meet deadlines, and who appreciates the work that's been put in. If one person isn't doing their job right, you'll learn how to do it, and do it yourself, better. But you can't do that forever, the workload and associated stress will simply become too much.
We're lucky because VC:MP is a huge simulator for this process, we can learn to navigate it before there are any significant real life stakes. Everyone finds a different way to navigate it, everyone draws different lessons, but one common thread, for any reasonable approach, is to avoid burnout at all costs. Avoiding burnout has to take priority over all else: it's one thing putting out a product that isn't up to your standards, it's a whole other thing putting yourself in a position where you can no longer put out products.
Identify the behaviours and attitudes that have led to burnout this time and adjust them. It might mean taking on one less task than you normally would, it might mean putting out a product or completing a project in a way that doesn't match your vision 100%. Or it might mean ceding responsibility to others, and appreciating their work, even if it's not the way you would have done it. Sacrifices and compromises must be made, otherwise people will always disappoint you. It might take months, it might take years, but if you shoulder yourself with the stress of living with unmet expectations then burnout is inevitable. This is your choice, you will truly have only yourself to blame.
Regarding VC:MP, the temptation to take on new projects might not be there immediately, but it will return. I see work and projects as an addiction, I personally have to fight against my desire to step into VC:MP and start something up again. Likewise, there are projects in my real life that I have to stop myself from doing, because I know there are more important things that I ought to be spending my time on. Ultimately it will be up to you to decide if you want to become a player like me, who comes in once in a blue moon, lurks on the forums, and leaves his main contributions to VC:MP in the past. Or, whether you want to do one or two small things every now and then. Ironically, I think you'd probably end up finding those small things much more rewarding than the big projects you've been working on up to this point.
Now regarding you specifically, your contribution to VU and to VC:MP, I could write for days. I'll save everyone the reading time and just say that you're a very special person, who I'm eternally grateful for having met. Beyond what you've done here, I know that you're going to do some amazing things for people in this world, dude. You embody exactly what I always wanted all VUs to be, friendly, humble, determined, capable, intelligent, forward-thinking, just, humorous and creative. And you take time to pass on all those traits to the people around you. Keep at it man, keep sharing your talents with the world, because bit by bit you're making it a better place.
tl;dr: Burnout is a choice, avoid it. Gangsta is awesome.
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Never had the chance of really approaching you, but one thing that is clear in my short journey in VU so far is that you are a hardworking man who has contributed to the game in every aspect. Hopefully you will be still around, not like in the past days where you left a myriad of works, but as our advisor.
If we were not pink probably our flag would be Jamaica's one, because you have represented VU for life indeed
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Welcome to the club ;)
Very well deserved man, you've done so much to this community it's mindblowing.
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It's hard to say goodbye. I did not know you enough but I am sure of something, you contributed a lot to this community and we are going to miss you, there will be a gap that can never be filled or replaced
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Good luck ❤🙏
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From meeting you in XE, to training and preparing you to become a VU, to see you become one of the players that left a mark in this community with all of the work you've done. Its been my honor serving once as a mentor but now as a genuine friend and someone I look up to!
Welcome to the appearing once a year club, Gangsta. Its fun here, we have pretzels and blunts!
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you were even around when i took a spot in TLK back in early 2009, the best of luck man, you deserve it.
you are one of the greatest.
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It is very sad to see these things happening, but I suppose it is inevitable after all. I think that now is your time to rest after the excellent and giant work you have done for this community. You are an admirable person, and full of good qualities, many of which we lack. I appreciate very much that you saw potential in me, when the vast majority did not notice it, even today, you still do it and I thank you for that trust you placed in me. Again and again you were an example to follow for all of us, for the clan, and for all who have known this game. Thanks for your presence here, hopefully we will see you around eventually.
I say goodbye to you, commander. Have a good one in whatever you wish to do now :)
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Welcome to the appearing once a year club, Gangsta. Its fun here, we have pretzels and blunts!
There's pretzels?! Why did no one tell me about this!
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Welcome to the appearing once a year club, Gangsta. Its fun here, we have pretzels and blunts!
There's pretzels?! Why did no one tell me about this!
Maybe you got stuck on the blunts
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You need holiday Vacations. See you soon!
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See ya pal, friendliest, calm, wise & best VU!!
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Been an honor playing side by side with you back in the day, I wish you all the best with your plans in the future.
You never fully retire from this community, you keep coming back after a while ;)