Application - Vedder/Calhoun

[mairee]

I wrote that, yeah. I think at the moment of applying to MK, in all honesty, all I wanted to do in that application is write some bullshit to get accepted no matter what.

You see, there is a pattern on which, at the time you're talking about, I had been jumping over and over: First, applying VU giving some shit justification, after that, applying to OSK giving another shit justification, finally, applying MK with triple shit justification.

I have changed my vote to no. I am pretty sure the reason is obvious enough.

[auzk]

hey there...how are you??? feels good to see you here... Voting trainee 

[KaOtiV]

I go for a NO.
Trust issues and clan hopping are being dominated in most of the people who reapply.

I agree. I will vote No.

[Vedder]

I wrote that, yeah. I think at the moment of applying to MK, in all honesty, all I wanted to do in that application is write some bullshit to get accepted no matter what.

You see, there is a pattern on which, at the time you're talking about, I had been jumping over and over: First, applying VU giving some shit justification, after that, applying to OSK giving another shit justification, finally, applying MK with triple shit justification.

I have changed my vote to no. I am pretty sure the reason is obvious enough.

It's okay. But I am referring about something that passed two years ago.. I felt pretty sure it was explicitly known here.

edit: I forgot to reply Scalla. Thank you for your input and your words dude. I will keep improving, as far as I have time I will stay playing actively. You will find out that I can be loyal, friendly and mature. Thanks again!!!!!!! You're very cool and it's nice to have met you.

Thank you auzk, you have always been a good partner. Miss you in LW.

[Siezer]

I am voting trainee given that you’ve been trying to fix what you’ve done years back. I think you’ve been making a lot of effort reaching everyone of us individually and trying to apply again even though after being rejected a lot of times.

I believe you are a better person now but it will take some time for people to understand since the thing you had done in past was destructive. I believe in giving chance when someone is honest and been a much better person than before.

I hope you earn trust of VU’s if not this time, definitely next time. Best of luck!

[Vedder]

I am voting trainee given that you’ve been trying to fix what you’ve done years back. I think you’ve been making a lot of effort reaching everyone of us individually and trying to apply again even though after being rejected a lot of times.

I believe you are a better person now but it will take some time for people to understand since the thing you had done in past was destructive. I believe in giving chance when someone is honest and been a much better person than before.

I hope you earn trust of VU’s if not this time, definitely next time. Best of luck!

Siezer, you have always been there to trust and believe on me when I had nothing left here. I would go to the extent of saying that I remained here because of friends like you.

Thank you, you have also showed me that humility is the only path to achieve success. And it's so good to have your vote of confidence, no matter what. I appreciate you so much.

Don't doubt it dude, I keep positive, if not this time, maybe the next one. After all it's true that I have a lot to keep working on. A big hug for you!!!

[SMD]

I don't trust you, Voting NO.

[Sevrin]

Good luck Calh!

[byJeanStylez]

Buena suerte puta

[PunkNoodle]

Well in terms of application I don't see anything new being said from the previous apps, it's been like two years of you saying that you have improved. As for us, we're still the same "hypocritical nuns" of before (and probably have always been). There's also the post from Shawn which refreshed my mind, you say that you weaselled your way in MK clan through deceit and in truth there has been countless lies over the years where I don't see how I can take any word you wrote for granted; i'm not convinced at all.

[Vedder]

Well in terms of application I don't see anything new being said from the previous apps, it's been like two years of you saying that you have improved. As for us, we're still the same "hypocritical nuns" of before (and probably have always been). There's also the post from Shawn which refreshed my mind, you say that you weaselled your way in MK clan through deceit and in truth there has been countless lies over the years where I don't see how I can take any word you wrote for granted; i'm not convinced at all.

Hi PunkNoodle, I understand you and I think you are right. All I can do is promise that I will keep working on myself in order to prove all of you that my words aren't just words. I respect your vote and I hope I can make it positive for the next opportunity. A big hug.

And for everyone, I've been quite off these days because it was my birthday, plus I had much work xD, but I've been watching the application closely and I'm looking at all of your inputs.

[Charley]

Eugh, I hate to be that guy, but... someone needs to defend Calhoun a little here.

Age
He made that post quoted by Shawn in October 2018. Two and a half years ago. Which would make him... 15 years old? And now he's 18.

I challenge any one of you to say that you never did anything when you were 15 that you then thought was dumb as fuck by the time you were 18.

Context
For context, at that time, he was bitter because he was a 15-year-old kid who wasn't being accepted in the way he wanted to be, by a group of older people he looked up to. Lacking affirmation, he lashed out, did some stupid shit, said some stupid shit, and felt the consequences - he was disgraced, banned from this forum for a year and kicked from MK. Why did he attack VU, Leder and Sawyer? Because his ego was damaged, and he was immature; simple.

Intention
I try and keep my distance, but honestly all I've seen since Calhoun got unbanned is him trying to fit in again, and trying to do it in a positive way. It might piss people off when he PMs them asking questions, it might seem cloying or needy, but it's also a sign of dedication, and perserverance. Moreover, it seems like it's coming from a good place.

It must be frustrating to be judged, at 18, by how you behaved when you were 15 or 16, and yet in this application Calhoun has kept his cool, calmly explaining how he feels, and there's little doubt in my mind that he's being honest.

So?
There are very few players left in this game with as much potential as Calhoun, and certainly even fewer with the same level of dedication.

My vote remains trainee, and if he fucks up again, then we can always give him a lifetime ban from the forum and all VU events.

[Vedder]

Thank you Charley, there's a little more of hope in my mind after I see your reply Xd

I believe we are more judged in this game without taking account our age because everything remains written, always available to be brought up, and we don't look on the age of a guy at a first thought because it's natural and psychologically comprehensible that, if you are an adult and see kids like me through a computer, your brain will associate me as an adult. Because I am basically a forum profile, you cannot see a photo of mine to put yourself in context to how stupid this kid might look like and therefore understand why he's so idiot. Just a thought?

I am 19 now. I see in the past what I used to write in those eras and HOLY FUCK, i want to fucking cut ma eyes. But nobody judges me in real life because they understood, by sharing moments and knowing my real self, that I was simply a kid. It is not a justification, I just say what I guess is my perception.

There are some things that remain unclear till now so I guess it doesn't come bad to clarify them. Again, regardless whether you believe me or not.

At that time I was just seeking some attention and trying to be a smartass, I lacked affirmation yeah, and actually found some shitty 'rolemodels' as Charley calls them in this community and looked at them, thought they were cool so started to copy what they did, spitting shit at VU, for example.

I guess I also have to explain my side to what happened with Leder and Sugar. I will simply say that my intention was never to damage any of both, I had fucked up before and a friend of mine was going to be kicked due to that, and we cooperatively coordinated that strategy to save his ass. It only took a few minutes before I regreted because this was fucking sick, I was sorry for KingCaco being kicked but I did not want to cause that harm to Sugar after he struggled so much to get in here. Obviously I faced the consequences - it was something that got out of my hands and I did not know how to act. This was the first time that I realized that I could be a good person. Because I did something really bad and I regreted it so much.

I never accessed to VU private boards either. In fact, I had KingCaco's account not because I stole it. He gave it to me voluntarily to help him register.
But the only time I logged in with his account was after his kick, to post some threateny shit which Charley could obviously see by posts edits history xd.

I never even accessed to write his app, I helped him from outside. He posted it himself.
 
Anyways, at any rate, I appreciate so much your confidence on me Charley, and while I cannot get the same from the rest, I don't think it's actually a bad thing. I want to be in VU, I think it's a good place with good people where I can help people and self-develop a lot. But if you guys need some more time to trust me and my authenticity, I will be glad to show everybody how much I have learnt from all my experiences in this hate-love path that life puts us through.

And yeah, in case of fucky up ban my ass please

Thank you guys once again!!!

[GangstaRas]

You know I saw the name Vedder around and didn't give it much attention to know it was you Calhoun, thought you left the community. It's good you're around.

As I left an input on BanJack's application, I feel the need to give my perspective here as well.

The story you see detailed in the application is the truth and his words are sincere. How do I know that?

December 23rd, 2019, Calhoun just randomly messaged me through VC:MP Forums. I don't remember if he was banned here or something as to why he chose there but he did and he was basically seeing me off since I retired and also explained some personal development that occurred throughout that period.

Your retirement
Sent to: GangstaRas on December 23rd, 2019, 11:57 PM
« 2 responses to this message were sent. »
Hi GangstaRas,

I am writing from my phone, so sorry if I don't find the right words. It's quite annoying, and not comfortable.

I did not want this moment to arrive, but it did. You are finally taking a rest and your input on VCMP's day by day improvement will not get updated and that is a very big lost.

I cannot get what it feels like. I have grown up in this game too, just as you since 2011, since I was a little kid. I met a lot of people here. English knowledge. Interest for 80s music which inserted me into rock and roll and guitar classes. But I never left the community, I simply wasn't able to - it's a part of my life and always will.

True to that, VCMP taught me some real life shit manners, ways-of-acting, discipline, respect, tolerance - not the way I'd have liked to, because I had to face everyone's hate to finally get it. VCMP was an example of what I shouldn't have done on my real life. Even when I did.

Going to my point, you were a very important part for my improvement and I owe you a lot, GangstaRas.

VCMP people cannot notice it. And it will never be the same, but even if you don't believe on me, good things started to happen when I hit a wall and figured out what I was failing at.

Some days ago,

[probably a lil too personal here so I redacted this portion, gist is, gave up some very toxic shit in real life, realized his mistakes, changed his approach and found new people that he cherishes]

... And the best part: Can you believe that my classmates recognized me as the best classmate? A recognizement only made for the best kind of people. And I could not avoid crying.

All of this is something I need to tell you, because your input was the first start, the kick on my ass that I needed.

I got some more things to tell, but I am so happy and full of energy, and I will be always thankful to you.

Happy retirement, Gangsta. Hope to see you around.

I replied to that message the Christmas Eve of that year and that was the last time we ever spoke since on a personal level. If he wanted to kiss ass in applying he could've done it back when that message was sent, he could've done it last year where he apparently applied in June (missed me completely, I had to search the Denied Apps to verify), and he could've done it today.

Unlike BanJack who I picked up the difference in vibe from a personal message in tandem with the time of his application, Calhoun has a standing record from that far out. We acknowledged BanJack's 180, let's acknowledge Calhoun's. I vote trainee.

[Vedder]

Thank you so much, Gangsta. I appreciate it so much.